I WANT US B(A)CK!

I miss him… Everyday I think about him and I wish he was mine again. Sometimes it’s hard thinking that I don’t want him back, he was bad write status in tweeter (which I don’t care about), we are not right for each other, I never really loved him.
None of that is true and I can’t hide that from myself anymore. I really love this guy. I want him to be happy. I want him to be happy with me but just knowing that he’s happy would be enough. I want him back. But at the same time I never want to see him again. I just want us to go our own ways and life our own life’s and maybe I were right for each other he will come back to me one day when the time is right. I don’t care if he ugly or or anything like that. I don’t care if he hits me bc part of me wants a rough relationship like that. I don’t understand why. That’s just how I feel. I miss him. I want him back. I want us back.